When you’re in the business of raising humans, it can be hard to find time to make sure everyone has clean socks, much less find time for your hobbies or friends.
If you feel like you haven’t had a second to yourself since before your kid was born, you’re not alone. Motherly’s 2024 State of Motherhood Report found that 61% of Gen Z and Millennial Moms report getting less than an hour to themselves without work or family obligations each day.
Eve Rodsky, author of Fair Play, calls this trifecta the 3 Ps—partner, parent and professional. Juggling these three important roles can be challenging, so it’s no surprise that many of us feel consumed—even erased—by motherhood. While righting this problem is a larger societal and cultural issue, let me offer a simple strategy to help you reclaim some of your time and energy for yourself: a weekly Me Night.
As a dual-certified career coach specializing in helping moms on the brink of burnout from juggling big careers and little kids, I can testify that this seemingly too-simple solution can be a game-changer. It’s also a system my husband and I have used for over five years, and it’s one of the main reasons I’m still mildly sane despite juggling a toddler, a marriage and two businesses.
Think about it: What impact would it have if you knew that you’d have quiet time around the corner to do whatever self-care, hobbies or exercise you’ve been craving for weeks (years?) but never quite getting around to doing?
Here are tips for pulling off Me Nights in the real world—gathered from my experience, my career coaching clients and principles from Eve Rodsky’s Fair Play and Unicorn Space.
How to pull off a weekly me night
Discuss and enlist support
If applicable, talk with your partner and get them on board. Remember, they benefit too because they’ll also get me time. Plus, you’ll stay slightly more sane— a win for all parties.
Set a specific time
Decide a weekly Me Night for every adult in your household. For example, mine is on Thursdays, and my husband’s is on Tuesdays. If weeknights don’t work, you can also divvy up the weekends. Whatever you choose, try to pick a specific, recurring day so you can plan activities in advance.
Schedule it
Schedule your Me Night(s) on your calendar (or however you keep your household organized). We have a rule in my house: We can reschedule our Me Nights, but we can’t skip them.
Tackle the logistics
You should have permission to be unavailable and mentally detached from your home life on your Me Night—reachable for emergencies only, not “where are the diapers” texts. To prepare for your time away, run through all the logistics to ensure all parties can manage the home and kids while the other is away. (If you need more help with this step, check out the book Fair Play.)
Make a list of dos and don’ts
List 3-5 options you’d enjoy spending time on during your Me Night. This will help you avoid analysis paralysis. If you have no idea where to start, you might want to pick up Eve Rodsky’s book Unicorn Space to rediscover what you need to fill your cup. Perhaps reading at a nice park or bar is your first Me Night! It’s also helpful to list things you won’t spend time on, no matter how tempting. Remember, this isn’t date night, extra work night or errands night. It’s your night to enjoy yourself, however that looks for you.
As moms, it’s all too easy to try to shove our self-care, passions and friendships into the corners and cracks of our lives. Consider this your permission slip and how-to guide for reclaiming some of your precious time and energy for yourself. You’ll be a better mom and spouse for it.
This story is a part of The Motherly Collective contributor network where we showcase the stories, experiences and advice from brands, writers and experts who want to share their perspective with our community. We believe that there is no single story of motherhood, and that every mother’s journey is unique. By amplifying each mother’s experience and offering expert-driven content, we can support, inform and inspire each other on this incredible journey. If you’re interested in contributing to The Motherly Collective please click here.
